1. How can I stop comparing my life with others?

Learn to focus on your own ambitions and goals, rather than of others.

2. Why do minor mistakes seem like huge errors?

Minor mistakes seem big because of our negative mindset. We tend to look for negative things even in positive events.

3. Is social media responsible for this feeling of left behind?

Social media portrays only the achievements of others which can give you a feeling of emptiness.

4. Why do I feel guilty when I am not doing anything constructive?

You feel guilty because you always associate being idle as wasting time and that being busy leads to success.

5. Is perfectionism a cause of why you feel behind even when you are successful?

Yes, perfectionism always tells you to be your best and that something is not up to your standard even though you have done your best.

Why You Feel Behind Even When You Are Not

Stop comparing yourself with others as comparison is equal to pressure not progress. Discover why you feel behind even when you're not.

Key Takeaways:

Self-doubt drains energy more than failure.
Our brain’s psychology is designed to compare.
Every path is different. Some start fast, some slow.

Did you ever undergo some medical tests for a minor but chronic pain in your stomach? As the nurse handed over the report, you felt your heart race. But the report was normal. The doctor’s comments mentioned that there was nothing physically wrong with you. As you returned home, you checked the report again. There were two yellow highlighted words at the bottom which you had missed. You wondered what they meant as they seemed to be some medical terms. You spent the entire night sleepless, tossing from side to side.

Even though the entire report mentioned nothing negative about your health, yet you were just focused on those two highlighted words.

The human brain is really strange. Even though everything might be going right in your life, its attention is drawn to that tiny aspect of your life which might be wrong. Psychologists say that is how our brains evolved. They call this unusual phenomenon as the “negativity bias” and it is the tendency to dwell more on negative experiences and give more weightage to them as compared to positive experiences. In other words, our brain is evolved to focus on what is “missing” rather than what is “available”. Let us find out the reasons

Why you Feel Behind Even When You're Not:

1. Our Evolutionary Past

Every day we get thoughts which alert us to changes in our environment which seem like threats to us. See the following scenario:

Office

Your manager praises your work regularly. But one day if he happens to find fault in some aspect of your work, you will remember that more than all the compliments you have received till now.

Gym

At the gym everyone glances at you when you exercise to check out your good physique. If any day no one looks at you, do you feel something is wrong with you?

Railway station

As you are sitting on the bench waiting for the train, a beautiful girl comes and sits next to you. However, she gets up and sits far away from you. Do you wonder why she moved? “Is my shirt emitting a bad odor or something?” “Or does she not like me?”

There is nothing wrong in these thoughts as they have their roots in our evolutionary phase. In the ancient times, our negativity bias helped us to pay attention to predators and harmful plants. In today’s world it remains alert to threats to our social standing, our bank balance, and our esteem.

Also read: The Fear of Outgrowing Your Old Identity

2. The Need to Rock the Boat

Sometimes when everything is working well, you get a feeling that something is wrong. When things are stable and working smoothly, suspicion sets in. “Is this a trap?” “Should I change direction?” “Maybe if I try something new?” The reason why you feel behind even when you're not is because the brain hates complacency. It gets bored with fixed routine. That is the reason someone with a good paying stable job suddenly decides to resign and try something else. Navigate uncharted waters. Sometimes he might succeed, sometimes fail.

However, it all starts with human tendency to rock the boat and change the status quo.

3. Everybody’s Path is Different

Another reason why you feel behind even when you're not is the assumption that everybody life’s path, if not same, should be similar.

So a person is expected to complete his studies before a certain age and get a job after that. After settling down in the job, he or she is expected to get married, have children, and live a happy life thereafter. However, society has created this pattern. If you compare your life milestones in real life with others, then everyone’s timeline is different. Therefore a person who is still a bachelor in late 20s will be feeling behind in life at 30 as he is still not married. Being behind in life just means one has followed his or her own path and not the path of the crowd.

Helpful Tips

The solution to the question why you feel behind even when you're not lies in following a daily routine for positivity:

Practice gratitude: Look at your positive achievements in life
Limit social media: Go for digital detox occasionally
Meditation: Practice meditation for mindfulness once daily
Exercise: Do physical exercise, such as cardio, to boost your mood
Avoid Comparison: Focus on your goals, not others
Diet: Follow a healthy balanced diet
Avoid stress: Read on stress management skills for better mental health
Limit negativity: Keep away from depressing news and focus on positive news in media

Also read: Why People Are Choosing Fewer Goals in Life

Expert Opinion on Reasons You Feel Behind

Comparison is an automatic reaction when we compare ourselves with another person’s success. During such time, one must remember that there is no single path destined for all. Each must follow their own individual path to succeed in life.

“Everyone is wired differently and meant to follow a unique trajectory,” says psychotherapist Stevie Blum. “When we’re younger, most people are on the same path, more or less. After college graduation, paths begin to diverge and the disparities in income, relationship status, and life choices become much more pronounced. This can be extremely challenging to navigate as comparison and self-doubt creep in.”

Challenging the "I'm Behind" thinking traps. Ask yourself who is the person who is ahead of you? What is the benchmark you have set for yourself?

Coach Peter Piche, says: “We get a lot of messages via all sorts of platforms that there is one right way to live and when we figure it out, we'll be happy.”

Examining your benchmarks for your progress will often reveal society or family standards. The scripts set by society or your family may not align with your values, yet you feel forced to adhere to them.

Final Thoughts

The human brain is the biggest asset we have. It helps us solve problems, learn new things, and provides us creative ideas for complex issues. However, inside our modern brains is an ancient brain which remains alert to threats to our survival. It focuses more on negative experiences rather than positive ones which is why you feel behind even when you're not. There is nothing wrong with our brains, it is just nature’s way to seek out what is missing. It alerts you to potential risks. It draws your attention to areas of your life where there is scope for improvement. Accepting and learning from this part of the brain’s workings will lead to a successful and contented life.

For more personal development tips, wellness ideas, and useful solutions, explore helpful content on Logsday, where you will find creative ideas for simple, everyday living.

Also read: The New Definition of Success Nobody Posts About